The other day I was passing by a street preacher. Normally, I try to tune those guys out, but something this man said caught my ear. I remember it plainly:
This calls for wisdom: let the one who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a Night Water subscriber, and her number is 666.
This is remarkable!, I thought, and I rushed home to log into America Online so that I could check the Night Water statistics. Sure enough, on April 20th, one of the holiest days of the year, Molly Null joined our ranks as subscriber 666.
Traditionally, Night Water has only celebrated even, centuplicate subscribers, but I could let this fortuitous occasion pass by unremarked upon. Luckily, Molly was more than willing to answer our burning questions.
Who are you and what is your deal?
My name is Molly, and at the end of the day I’m just a little guy in a sweater. I’m a dancer/comedian/impressionist who is silly and very good at what I do but don’t get paid much for it. So I also work at a pointe shoe company, where I put dancers into the pointe shoes that feel and fit them best, and put out fires in customer service/web sales emails all day long. I have a biological son named Tom, he is a cat from the streets who loves me a lot and bites me soooo much.
How did you hear about Night Water?
I heard about Night Water through my longtime friend, Adam Cecil, A.K.A. the girl reading this.
No, I actually had the meme page come up on my explore page on Instagram a bunch and so I followed it and was like “omg that’s Adam!” and (my boyfriend & actual longtime friend of Adam Cecil) Noah was like “yeah that’s like his whole thing, how’d you not know that?” We have fun. :)
Where were you when you found out you were Night Water’s 666th subscriber?
I was at work and audibly said “oh hell yeah” to myself when you texted me, lol. And I’ll remember that moment forever.
Do you have any particular affiliation with the Mark of the Beast and/or Satan?
Not necessarily, but I do have religious trauma and my mom loves Christian Rock music. And my best friend Marie once mistook “Devil’s Food Cake” for “Satan’s Favorite” and that is the silliest little thing that I’ve ever heard.
What does the phrase “late night vibes” mean to you?
Late night vibes to me means a few different things:
The moment when I say “we needed this” to my pals after having 14 vodka crans.
Waking up at 3 a.m. and watching blackhead removal TikToks for several hours until I’m tired enough to fall asleep again.
Ordering pizza delivery from the place a 5 min walk away from my apartment.
Having Noah (boyfriend) venture off into the Bushwick night to get us more beer and some chips for me. :)
Thanks, Molly, for your candor and for following @nightwatermemes. We hope you enjoy it here at the late night water cooler, and let us all hope your subscription is not the harbinger of the apocalypse.
Make sure you follow Molly over on TikTok where you catch her talking like that one fish from Spongebob—you know the one.
Do an interview with Tom next!!