The Night Water 1000th Subscriber Spectacular

A Q&A with the Night Water community

The Night Water 1000th Subscriber Spectacular
Night Water subscriber David. Up to you to decide if that's the man or the cat.

The newsletter grind! It can be grueling to deliver digital articles on a semi-weekly basis. Indie pop darlings The Magnetic Fields sang about the oft-depressing life of the internet content producer on their track “Papa Was a Podcaster”:

Papa was a podcaster, Mama was a Twitter stan
I could post a 'gram and stream on Twitch before I learned to stand
Home was anywhere with internet, love was an OnlyFans
Never stuck around long enough to build a brand

Of course, it’s the subscribers that make the work worth it. Picture it: the joy when you see Night Water in your inbox, the tears streaming down your face as all of your ills are cured with the opening of a delightful late night email, the scream of grief when you scroll down and realize that all good things must come to an end. It’s these imagined reactions that make writing this newsletter worth it.

On March 30, 2024, one year, five months, and twenty-four days after our 500th subscriber first took a sip from our bedside water carafe, we officially reached the fourth digit as the 1000th subscriber joined the ranks of the quenched. Echoing our 500th Subscriber Spectacular, I felt that this occasion deserved a spectacular of its own.

Who are Night Water subscribers?

“I’m the groundskeeper at Emma Willard School,” wrote Night Water subscriber David. “I like to skip stones, jump leaves, break twigs.”

“I like to go to bed early,” Reno explained. “Night Water allows me to live vicariously as though I was one of the Night People, while still enjoying my dry-mouthed slumber.”

Lindsey is “the Dr. Ruth of my generation,” and Zia’s deal is that he’s “got an opinion on everything.”

Noah knew about Night Water, but didn’t subscribe until he was “reminded of it... when my girlfriend showed me a Night Water meme not knowing it was Adam's deal.”

What are their favorite Night Water articles?

Reno: “I liked the bean hole issue! I love both beans and digging holes, so it really clicked with me.”

+1 for bean hole beans from Noah, who says it “was a lot of fun and the kind of little insane thing I love to read about.”

Bean Hole Beans
A traditional bean hole beans recipe

Dan enjoyed this year’s Oscars coverage.

The 2024 Night Water Oscar Ballot results are in
Who will take home the top prize?

Jeff loves “the vegan ‘meat’ stuff, especially the chicken tenders/nuggets.”

Simulate Tenders are just long Nuggs—and that’s a good thing
A quick review of the latest fake chicken product from Simulate

“The one about the Cabbage Patch Kids,” Lindsey says, to which I respond, “The one!?”

Cabbage Patch Kids - Night Water
Did you know that in the mountains of Georgia, there’s a hospital where Cabbage Patch Kids are born?

What does the phrase “late night vibe” mean to them?

Jean’s late night vibes are “infomercials and junk food.”

“Up late with the homies,” Zia writes, “eating, gaming (card, board, or video), talking shit, but most of all everyone not trying to be the weakest link that heads to bed and kills the vibe.”

Noah had a similar vibe: “Sleep in your eyes, you’re tired but gotta keep the hang flowing so none of the people you’re with can announce they’re going to bed.”

“When you jolt asleep on your couch with some Nic Cage movie on repeat and the Miller High Life that was resting like a little cherub in the crook of your arm spills your lap,” envisions Tyler.

David’s vibes? “A legit low key kick back.”

Thanks to everyone who sent in a response to the 1000th Subscriber Spectacular survey—it was a joy to discover your vibes. If you missed the survey, let us know what your late night vibe is in the comments.

See you all soon for our next subscriber special when we double our luck with 2000 subscribers around the water cooler—we’ll be running dangerously low on cups.